Help…

I was right. The guy Roli was talking about is Ahia!

I was supposed to present Westgrove to Roli last night. I didn’t know the project that well so I brought Ahia and Boink to help me present.

Everything was normal at first. We discussed about the project and nothing more. But then, I couldn’t resist it. I wanted him to tell me something about my future. He refused to. I stopped insisting. Afterwards, we invited him to have dinner at CPK. I also called my sister to have dinner with us so Roli would be more at ease.

I’m not sure how the conversation started. I think I was asking Roli if Ahia should leave for Davao. Roli said if he left, he won’t know where to pick himself up if he and his GF breaks up. I was stunned. I asked him why. Aren’t they fated for each other? No, he said. Before I even realize it, Roli was already asking me what I think about Ahia as a boyfriend. I laughed thinking he was playing me around. He wasn’t.

He was fated for me, he insisted. I said no. That can’t possibly happen. Not if I can help it. He advised me to go with the flow, not to fight my destiny. What the Lord gives, I should accept. I shook my head. I don’t want that. That cannot be. No. I don’t want it.

He asked me what I liked and didn’t like about Ahia. I didn’t give much of an answer. I didn’t want to answer. I still won’t want him as a BF. He’d be a great one, I know. But I don’t want him to be mine.

Things would just get too complicated. I’d mess up his life; he’d mess up mine. Too many people are bound to get hurt. I don’t want that. I won’t want that.

Roli placed his bet. He said that Ahia and I would be a couple by June. He’s so sure about it. So sure that it scared me. I couldn’t look at Ahia anymore. I didn’t answer his calls and texts last night. I just apologized before I slept.

I was planning to push him away. To sacrifice all that we have just so that the hula won’t come true. But I couldn’t stand being mean to him. I couldn’t stand hurting him too much.

I’m lost. And more confused than ever. I don’t want to be affected by it, but I just couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop myself. I’m as scared as hell right now…